Progress Or Pain: The Lightworkers’ Dilemna
March 21st, 2009Dear Friends,
The idea of soul contracts between humans isn’t new. We forge agreements between each other before coming into the body so that both souls know when it is time to make a difference in someone else’s life. That difference can be experienced in different ways; those ways can feel empowering or abusive, expansive or dismissive, loving or distancing. We generally like it when a stranger comes into our lives to offer love and support during challenging times, and we don’t generally like it when someone comes into our lives to repeatedly push our buttons until we take action to stop that from happening again.
Both are types of soul contracts, and both are to be honored.
I’m seeing in my own life and in the lives of others increasing numbers of button pushers. I’m experiencing, and so are most, if not all, of those close to me interactions with others that don’t feel good. It’s all appropriate IF it causes us to take another path. I see button pushers shove people out of jobs that have outlived their usefulness, homes that have become financial drains, lives that have become stagnant, and relationships that have stopped growing in love.
Like many on the spiritual path, I have looked for ways to appreciate those who have pushed my buttons so much that I had to grow. I know how important it is to forgive, not necessarily for the sake of the one who has been hurt but also for the sake of one who has taken responsibility for damaging behavior.
I’ve learned to forgive those who have caused me the most damage in life and, in some cases, have allowed them back into my life in an effort to turn the page.
I’ve also learned that it’s not always advisable to do that; when the contract is done, going back into connection often means going back into a dynamic that isn’t consistently honoring, loving, or honest.
One of my friends, an inspirational spiritual teacher named Red Heart, recently shared that if someone isn’t actively supporting lightworkers, then that person is working against the light. The idea was new to me, but I considered it for days. I wanted not to believe it, but in these times when we are either, in the words of Ken Kesey, “on the bus or off the bus, ” I increasingly believe it to be true.
Shining our light, especially during these times, is one of the highest acts we can provide as individuals. Most people I know these days are in and out of balance, and we need to surround ourselves with those who can help us regain our balance, who can help us feel loved and supported, who can help us shine our light as bright as we possibly can.
So is it appropriate for us to welcome back those who have caused us great pain in the past in an effort to move into true forgiveness?
Only if we can authentically be around these people WITHOUT getting hurt.
There are those who wound others unconsciously and there are those who wound others consciously. We as lightworkers are used to looking for the best in others, even if it means we get hurt in the process by going back into connection with those who have proved to be untrustworthy in the past.
If we really can keep our centers while associating with those who treat us without respect, truth, integrity, decency, and honor, then go for it.
But if we can’t, is it really worth the potential damage to expose ourselves to those who take us out of our power, either consciously or unconsciously?
Some of our highest service these days is to keep smiling at strangers, family members, and ourselves. How many of us have experienced the deep joy of connecting with a stranger, soul to soul, for a brief moment in the grocery store? How many of us have experienced the healing touch of a human angel during a time of deep pain? And if we are to actively seek out opportunities to spread the love and light of the Creator each day of our lives, are we really doing ourselves and the world a service by allowing ourselves to associate with those who don’t actively support us as we do our service?
How many will we be depriving of a moment of loving connection if we choose to associate with those who freely use us, the human angels, as toxic waste dumps for their self-hatred, their lifetime of stored pain?
How much potential healing will we deprive ourselves and others of if we continually go back into connection with those who repeatedly choose not to treat us as the Divine helpers we have come here to be?
How much light will we keep from each other and from the planet if we sacrifice ourselves for what we consider to be the sake of others?
I’ve learned a lot these past years about the nature of love, and love has to be an inside job. If we truly love ourselves, then allowing ourselves to repeatedly be with others who do not treat us with love becomes an act of self-abuse.
Activation contracts? Sure! Great stuff! Life-changing at its best, but life-draining at its worst.
Who are the darkworkers in your lives? Are you able to bless them for activating you to take your power and then either transform the relationship into something mutually loving and/or walk away with a new lesson learned? Or are you dooming yourself to play the role of victim each day in a slightly different way?
As with all things, it is your choice. No matter the choice you make, I honor you for being who you are and for doing what you do.
Namaste, and thanks for reading.
United in Love,
Sheryl